I don't know since when, but I always feel serene whenever I am sitting alone on a bus or a train...in a long ride. Do nothing except gazing out of the window, at the traffic, or the empty street, or lines of heartbroken-looking trees, covering in brown dust. That's the time I really got the chance to think, to feel, to make plan, or just to dream. And that's also the time when i feel most lonely.
Lonely is a friend of mine, and i don't make any plan to chaste it away. Lonely, I can deal, just the same with sadness. Those two are much better than hopelessness, or fear, or disappointment. In a strange way lonely makes me feel more alive. It's like a blanket, something i should hold on to, something that would cover me from things that could be lots worse.
Lonely sometimes gives me lots of idea, lonely give me space, and lonely give me time. So, for me, lonely is a good thing.
Unfortunately, lonely also brought with it the pain of missing. Missing the time, missing the moment, missing the laughter, missing the smiles, the events, the stupidity, the impulsiveness, and of course the happiness. But mostly, lonely makes me missing the person. Yeah, always THE person, never another.
Missing the twinkle eyes, the dimples, the crooked teeth, the perfect nose, the warm laughter, the tight embrace, and the dreamlike kisses. The way love was whispered along the heavy made out session, the fights that always ended with smile and laughter, with the new faith that it would last forever. That the love could conquered all, all the differences, all the odds, all ghost from the past, all the stupid rules that the parents set. And to believe, once set, forever is a definite, and we will live thousand years more, till death do us apart. Death do us apart.
Yeah, till death, do us, apart.
And apart us do.
This time forever is indeed definite.
0 comments:
Post a Comment